


Valentine's Day

by Demerite



Series: Trektober 2019 [20]
Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Coitus Interruptus, Multi, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Valentine's Day, Walking In On Someone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 07:48:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21115262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demerite/pseuds/Demerite
Summary: Valentine's Day on the USS Discovery.





	Valentine's Day

**Author's Note:**

> For the Day 21 Prompt: Valentine's Day. 
> 
> [Disputatio Quisquilliae's](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18585682/chapters/44059642) Lt. Lia Collins is sick and tired of her crewmates and superior officers getting it on all over the place. Any complaints about how this is just OC-driven bs will be deleted, because that's exactly what this is: pure OC-drive bs. Just hopefully, you know, funny!

**0700hrs, Start of Shift 1**

Engineering start-of-shift briefings tended to be quick, and to the point. No use messing around when there was work to be done. 

"Right. Evans, Ch'Kehlon, Taveed, Warp Core. Denau, S'Riss, Irdes, Bay One. T'Shovai, Li, West, Bay Two. Collins, Repair List. Let's get to it people." 

Lia didn't jump for joy, but it was a near thing. The repair list was her _favourite _assignment, especially now that the spore drive was out of action for the foreseeable future. She got to go all over the ship repairing the little - or sometimes not-so-little - issues nad problems that arose from the day-to-day running of the ship. Last week, she'd even been sent to the Bridge to replace some wiring in the communications console. Also, people tended to be pleased when you turned up to fix the problems ruining their day, and the appreciation they showed was pretty much always an instant mood-booster. 

Lia collected her tool-bag, slinging the long strap over her shoulder, and the PADD with the repair list on it. She leant against a bench and scrolled through the list. Jobs were organised by level of urgency, and after that by the time the request had been made. There weren't any jobs on the Bridge, but Lia knew that could change in a heartbeat. Her first task was to replace some fuses in the botanical labs. While it sounded like routine work, and not the important, Lia already knew that the specimens in the labs required precisely-controlled temperature, humidity, and light levels, and that a power cut in that area due to a faulty fuse could be catastrophic for any number of experiments. 

The botanical labs weren't far, and Lia set off at a brisk walk. Unlike a lot of her crewmates, who found the labs kind of creepy, Lia genuinely enjoyed the chances she got to visit them. As someone who grew up mostly shipside, with her planetside trips usually limited to spaceports and port authorities' offices, Lia found all the green and growing things in the labs a refreshing break from the cold metal of her every day. 

"Engineering!" She called, stepping into the lab. On the bench nearest to her, a plant unfurled several long, graceful tendrils, extending them towards her, alerted by sound or movement or who knew what else. Lia gave it a cautious look, and skirted around it, but not too far; torn between interest and caution. 

There was no response to Lia's call, so she started off through the lab, heading for the back wall of the huge space, where the maintenance panels were located. The labs weren't often empty, but it was still early in First Shift, and she knew not all departments had such speedy briefings as hers did. As long as she didn't touch anything - because she was well aware that some plants in here would _definitely _be able to kill her with pollen or thorns or spores - and she got the fuses changed without causing a power cut, she'd been fine. 

Lia was nearing the back of the lab when she thought she heard a noise. A muffled squeak, quickly camouflaged, followed by a rustling of leaves. But when she paused and listened, she couldn't hear anything above the hum of the impulse engines and the low whirr of various equipment in the lab. Either she was imagining things, or there was a runaway tribble hiding in the shrubbery somewhere. Either way, it wasn't her business. Unless she actually _saw _a tribble, in which case she'd probably put it in her pocket at least until she could pass it off to one of the science officers. 

She stepped around a stand of what looked like fruit trees - although no fruit trees Lia had ever seen before - and was confronted with the sight of two of her crewmates, one pressing the other up against the wall, her hands inside her fellow officer's jacket. They'd been hidden from her by the thick, glossy leaves of the trees. Dimly, in the part of her brain that was still taking in and cataloguing information, Lia recognised Lt. Detmer's cybernetic implant, and Lt. Owosekun's distinctive hairstyle. They weren't paying her any attention, too absorbed in making out. 

Lia did the only thing she could think off. She took several rapid steps backwards until she was once more hidden from the couple by the trees. Okay, she needed a plan. She had to get the fuses replaced, but Lt. Owosekun had Lt. Detmer pushed up against the panel she needed to access. She couldn't just leave and come back later, the fuses needed to be placed now. She also didn't want her superior officers to know she'd walked in on them. 

"Engineering!" Lia called out, as loudly as she could. She heard a muffled squeak of surprise from behind the trees, very much like the one Lia had heard before, and a rustling that sounded like someone hastily adjusting clothing, and then the sharp sound of a zipper being jerked closed. 

Lieutenants Detmer and Owosekun appeared from behind the trees, both of them looking a little rumpled and sheepish. 

"I'm just here to replace some fuses," Lia said, trying not to let what she'd seen show on her face. 

"Uh, sure, go ahead." Lt. Detmer said, in a tone that said much the same. 

Trying not to blush, Lia slipped past the two sheepish lieutenants and got to work. 

~*~

Lia was just finishing up with the fuses in the botanical lab when her PADD pinged with another repair request. This one was for some of the diagnostic equipment in sickbay, and marked urgent. Lia added it to her list immediately and sent out a message saying she was on her way and would be there in minutes. 

Shouldering her tools, she headed out of the lab - avoiding the tendrils the waved welcomingly at her - and towards the turbolifts that would take her up to sickbay. She checked the time as she walked, surprised to see it was nearly time for her break. Well, if she was going to sickbay, she might be able to pick up Jeehni, one of the nurses, and Lia's best friend, and they could go to lunch together once Lia's work there was done, provided there weren't any emergencies for Jeehni to deal with. 

The turbolift panel chimed, announcing the arrival of a pod, but when the doors opened, Lia didn't step into it. She was too transfixed by the state of its occupants to get her legs to move. 

Commander Michael Burnham and Ensign Sylvia Tilly were standing on opposite sides of the pod, neither of them looking at each other. This was Lia's frost clue that something was up. Tilly's hair was escaping from its neat bun, curls fanning out around her face, and she looked flushed and flustered. Commander Burnham looked as poised and composed as always, until Lia noticed the hint of colour high on her cheeks, and the fact that her jacket collar was undone. It was obvious to Lia what the two of them had been doing. 

"You know what, I'll wait for the next one." Lia said firmly. 

For a moment, Tilly and Burnham just looked at her, and then Tilly darted forwards to hit the button to close the pod doors again. 

Lia sighed, counted to ten in her head, and summoned another pod. What was up with people today? Normally on repair list duty, she'd encounter people getting too friendly for a place that wasn't private quarters about once a week, maybe more if she had a lot of work in maintenance corridors or Jeffries tubes. Two in one day, in one _morning, _was pushing it. 

There had to be something going on that Lia didn't know about. As the sickbay doors opened in front of her, Lia just hoped it wasn't another pollen incident. There were certain sights - mostly involving naked crewmates - that she _never _wanted to see again. 

"Lia!" Jeehni waved her over the moment Lia stepped into sickbay, "I hoped it was you today! Over here, the full-body scanner isn't working right." 

Lia headed over to where the Orion was indicating her problem, a line of red 'error' messages on the scanner's main screen. Lia set her tool bag down on the floor, and got to work, running a diagnostic program first. Always better to rule out simple problems first. 

It wasn't a simple problem. An entire section of the machine needed pulling out and replacing. 

"I hope you have a backup scanner." Lia said, "Because this one is gonna be out of action until we can synthesise new parts. 

"I'll check with Dr. Culber." Jeehni said immediately, "He's shift head today." 

Lia mumbled her agreement, her head already bent over her PADD, looking for the forms she'd need filled out to get the parts made. She was so absorbed in her task that it took a loud shriek from Jeehni, quickly muffled, to get her attention. 

Lia looked up from her PADD, and had to bite her lip to suppress her instinctive cry of _'goddamn it!' _at the sight of Dr Culber visible through the open door of the CMO's office, seated on the desk with Lt. Commander Stamets standing between his legs, kissing him like it was his last chance to do so. 

Jeehni slammed a hand down on the door control panel to close it again, but not before Lia caught sight of Culber's hand on Stamets' ass. 

_Great. _Another person she was going to struggle to look in the eye at work. 

~*~ 

"I just don't get what's up with people today," Lia growled, dropping her tray onto the table next to Jeehni. "I've caught people getting it on _twice _today, not counting Stamets and Culber just now." She settled into her seat, and carefully inspected her sandwich for tomato. It didn't have any, because she'd ordered it without any, but it didn't hurt to check. 

"It's Valentine's Day." Kimor said from Lia's other side, her antennae twitching, "People are bound to be feeling more loved-up than usual." 

"Isn't it kind of speciesist to celebrate a Human holiday on a ship with an integrated crew?" Jeehni asked, taking a sip of what Lia was fully aware was her third cup of coffee for the day. “And like, they make such a big deal about being equal opportunist but I don’t see them celebrating an Orion holiday.”

“Do Orions have an equivalent holiday?” Lia asked, her sandwich halfway to her mouth. She'd thought that maybe when she made it to her first shipside posting, she wouldn't have to deal with such drama, but apparently things didn't change that much from the Academy to deployment. 

"No. If we like someone, we just tell them!” 

“Huh.” Kimor said around a mouthful of pasta. 

“I wish you humans would do that. Then none of us would have to suffer through this stupid love holiday.” Jeehni downed her cup of coffee. "I caught Harper and T'Pria making out in one of the medical supply closets this morning." 

"I thought they were still fighting?" Lia put her sandwich back down, unbitten. 

“Uh, not from what I saw, unless they've invented a new discipline that involves a lot more kissing than usual." 

~*~

Lia was in a good mood as she headed down the corridor to the briefing room, her toolbag bouncing against her hip. Her shift would be over in just a few minutes, the final task on her list was a display screen with a crack in it in one of the briefing rooms. It should be an easy enough fix; if the crack wasn't too large she could repair without having to replace the entire unit. As long as she could get there without running into anyone else making out - or worse - she was going to consider today a good day. 

Her good mood crumbled however when she keyed open the door to the briefing room, only to be met by the sight of someone's bare ass. And okay, it didn't take a genius to figure out _whose _ass it was, there was only one man on the ship who wore that much black. 

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Lia announced, uncaring that Ash Tyler outranked her by a considerable amount. 

She turned on her heel and stalked away, but not before she caught a glimpse of a face peeking around Tyler's hip and _oh god, _she was _never _going to be able to look Captain Pike in the eye again after seeing him there. Actually, scratch that, she wasn't going to be able to look _either _of them in the eye. There were some things you just didn't need to know about your Captain's sex life. 

Standing in the turbolift, Lia logged the repair request as 'unable to be completed' and tried to think of what the hell she would say to anyone who asked her why. She somehow couldn't imagine saying 'I'm sorry, Captain Pike was giving Specialist Tyler a blowjob on the briefing room, I thought it would be best to leave them to it' to the chief engineer. Apart from anything else, even if she managed to get the words out without spontaneously combusting, no-one would actually believe her. 

Lia decided to declare the screen a lost cause and return to engineering to check in her tools. She'd probably be a bit early, but it was better than having to go back there and face....well, she was already trying to scrub that from her memory. Maybe if she got really drunk? 

~*~

After checking her tools back in, Lia decided that she could burn off some of the tension and irritation of the day with a workout. She liked the physical activity, pushing her body allowed herself to stop thinking about whatever was on her mind for a little while. When she'd first arrived at the Academy, she'd run laps of campus until she'd torn a ligament, in an attempt to stave off the homesickness. Now, she knew how to take it a little easier, how to strike that delicate balance between pushing herself too hard, and just hard enough. 

She threw her uniform in the recycler and changed into leggings and a shirt, and after comming Jeehni to see if she was interested in working out with her (and being told that no, Jeehni was going to laze about until dinner thank you very much) Lia headed down to the gym. 

She was already retreating into her own thoughts as she approached, anticipating spending some time pushing herself, but when she keyed open the doors to one of her favourite areas - her favourite because nobody really used it-, she was surprised to find it already occupied. Very occupied. 

Several people, Lia counted at least four, were, there was no better word for it, _writing _on the gym mats stacked in one corner of the room. Lia didn't consider herself a prude by any measure of things, but even she had seen enough sex and sex-adjacent acts today to _never _want anything to do with it again. 

A head poked up from the middle of the pile, and Lia immediately recognised that face as belonging to Captain, well Emperor, Georgiou. 

"Care to join us?" The Terran Emperor asked, giving Lia a _thorough _once-over. "We could always find space for one more." 

"Uh, no thanks!" Lia squeaked. She wasn't ashamed to admit that she ran all the way back to her quarters and locked the door behind her. 

**Author's Note:**

> Want to know more about Trektober? Click [HERE](https://aishahiwatari.tumblr.com/post/188059640163/trektober) for the info post on Aisha's tumblr, or [HERE](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Trektober2019) for the AO3 collection to read our fic. 
> 
> Come yell at me on [Tumblr](https://demerite.tumblr.com/)!


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